Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
