the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize