We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
