This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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