margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
