Im at strip club and am horny
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
