is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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