you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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