I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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