I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize