i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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