And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
