sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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