I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
