Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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