your thong is hanging out like whoa
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
