I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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