The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
