I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize