come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
