i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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