The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
