Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
