Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
