i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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