...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
