I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
