I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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