don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I touched a dick in church today
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
