if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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