But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
