I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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