Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He passed out mid-signature
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
