I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
