Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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