so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
