Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize