what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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