Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
