so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
