everyone is single if you try hard enough
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
