Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
time to smoke my breakfast
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
