I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
