So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
