I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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