so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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