i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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