is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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