I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
