so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
