no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There r osticjed everywhere
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
