I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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