I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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