Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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