Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
