so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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