When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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