Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked a lego.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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