I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
