Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
there is glitter all over my balls
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
