I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
