whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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