I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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