i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
