My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code