Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.