So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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