thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
