Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
