Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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