It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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