I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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