I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Acid is not a monday night drug
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
