Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
